At work I use a single-person unisex bathroom on the second floor. This morning, as I do many times a day (my bladder has shrunk, but that's a topic for another day!), I headed up there to relieve myself. Without looking, I turned around, unbuckled my slacks and sat down (as I always do when peeing).
I experienced just a flash of free-fall sensation until I managed to instinctively wedge my thighs into the sides of the toilet. My bare butt hung a few meager centimeters from the toilet's natural sea-level! I had barely escaped disaster! A split-second of rage ran through me and I cursed all men and their inconsiderate use of common restroom facilities. Afterall, if we women leave the seat down, the worst that happens to men who use the facilities after us is they miss the target and create a mess on said seat that they can pretend they never saw and leave to the next user. When men leave the seat up, women are in constant danger of drowning our bottoms in the bacteria- strewn swill that infects most bathroom fixtures. Yet another subtle form of male-domination?...
But then reason took hold and I remembered all the times in my younger days when my mom or a girlfriend would sternly chastise me for undertaking just such an inconsiderately male action. It's a rather distant memory to be honest (not due strictly to the relative short passage of time, but to my own perception of the distance of my current self from that time), but I seem to recall that when I lived a masculine life, it was rare that I thought of anything beyond my aim and avoiding any golden splash-back shrapnel, followed by a perfunctory flush and handwash afterwards.
Traditionally, the bathroom is a major gender-role divided environment; in some ways how the other gender inhabits their version of that environment is a dark taboo and I've always wondered why. They certainly seemed to be ok with a blending of those worlds in "Ally McBeal", didn't they? Hahaha - I promise - that will be the very last reference to that awful show you will ever see emerge from my fingers or mouth!
Until next time gentle reader, keep your fanny warm and dry and aware of its surroundings at all times before you take that toilet plunge!
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3 comments:
While I think it's just as easy to lift the seat up as to put it down and thus can't agree that men are somehow more at fault for leaving a toilet seat up than women are for leaving it down, here's an article about a little item that might interest you if you're worried about germs.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/when-shes-gotta-go/2005/12/26/1135445521114.html
haha - thanks for the comment! I'm not worried about germs, just getting wet!
And no, men aren't more liable for the default position of the toilet, but I propose this: all people return the toilet after use to it's neutral position: with both the seat and cover closed! It's only proper etiquette anyways, right?
But since that will never happen, I've just learned to look before I leap... :-)
Hmmm... as a crossdresser, I've pretty onvinced tham I am a male with a unique hobby/interest. But now you've got me a bit worried... I have been sitting on the toilet to pee for a good few years, having found it to be more practical, flexible (both in terms of unexpected changes in mode, as well as mood, haha)and cleaner, given the closer target range, lol. But could it be that its feminine insticts that brought me to it? After all, while guys do favor expedient practicalities, does that really extend to neatness and clanliness. Makes me worry that I have more of a feminine side than I thought.. hehehe. Daniela
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