Friday, July 30, 2004

the fluidity of sexuality and gender

I've been thinking a lot lately about sexuality and gender and how what these are can be very fluid and environment-dependent, especially for t-girls such as myself. Is someone who is bi just unable to make up their mind or are they simply taking advantage of the variety available in life? The same could be said on the gender side about us t-girls. Myself, I am basically only interested in women, but I do have this latent attraction to beautiful t-girls. I know I have no interest in men, but the idea of a transsexual seems to interest me sometimes. What I haven't straightened out in my mind yet is if this attraction is more that I want to be with a transsexual or actually "become" a transsexual, or even just a reaction to my recent failures to find a real woman who can accept me...

The idea of transitioning towards more full femininity intrigues and excites me. I definately have leanings that way. But I also do enjoy my male side. I guess I have to figure out if I can/want to continue to have 2 separate selves (male/female) or if it would be possible to merge the 2 into a viable, happy female self. I have to say at this moment that I am strongly leaning towards the transition path. Not sure if that is simply a withdrawal symptom because I haven't dressed in a couple months or if those feelings run deeper... to be continued...

2 comments:

xxAnestesiAxx said...

uuhmm.. I try of understand your post... the theme is so interesting, but I just speak spanish (I´m chilean), and this bad english is the english than I´m learn in the school (and watching movies!!)...
But I back to thios blogger, and some day maybe I will can understand all the post!!
(Pd: I´m here because one of your favorites books is Misery... Misery of Stephen King... right?? I hope that, because I love that book...is like an obsessive history...)

Vickie Davis said...

I could not have said that better myself. I too feel the same draws to both worlds. I too am only drawn to women and maybe trans people. Probably we see their female side. Who knows.

Keep up the good work, you cutie!

Hugs,

Vickie