decisions, decisions, decisions...

It seems to me that one of my major character flaws is an inability to make decisions. To a certain extent, this disease affects everyone, sometimes you just don't know what option or choice to make. Should I go out this weekend to the club or not? Should I wear my blue cami top and white mini or my black corset top and leather mini? What beer do I feel like tonight? Do I want to eat this chocolate candy or not? Should I pose nude for money or not? Do I want to do what it takes to make more money? Should I tell my casual friends about my dressing or not? Do I really want to transition to become a woman in mind and body?

I am fully behind the philosophy of being a "warrior" - living in the now, appreciating each moment, taking action to get what I want. My downfall is often that I don't know what I want. But perhaps, especially when it comes to the tougher decisions, it is that I do know what I want on some level, but my fears and socially-inculcated thought-patterns are clouding that understanding from me?

I guess the question I have then is, how can I come to know what I truly desire? How can i overcome dozens of years of drilled-in social thought patterns. How can I escape the clutches of society's will to shape me in its own image, instead of my own?

Honestly, I don't know. My guess is that it really takes patience and a will to get in tune with your own emotions and thought-patterns and to analyze why you make the decisions you make, both good and bad. More on this later...