The dawn of the new year and the culmination of events in the last has brought a couple life-changing decisions and realizations to my lil 'ol existence.
One: I'm now officially bisexual! You heard right - I'm sure a couple of my friends who read this will be blown away (or maybe they won't be - maybe they could see that part of me more clearly than I could), but I have finally come to the realization (or at least shed the inhibitions of my catholic upbringing) that I am attracted to the person and his or her personality, regardless of gender (mind you - not that looks don't matter, heehee). I still love women and prefer them as sexual partners, but I did delve into the pleasures of fooling around with a very nice (and hot) boy recently. There was no actual sex - I am just not ready for that! Small, sure steps is my mantra on this topic...
Why the sudden change of heart? I'm not sure...I had been contemplating it for a while I guess but just couldn't admit it to myself (social conditioning is hard to overcome sometimes). And I met a boy I felt comfortable with and attracted to (his mind and his body :-). I think it came to a head a few days ago when I got a late night, drunken call from an old college friend on his birthday (and no - he is not the boy in question silly!). We had a frank conversation about various topics as he sped through NYC on his way home to his wife and kids, occassionally shouting directions to his middle-eastern cabbie. And one of them was my sexuality and his wondering, while reading through my blog recently, if I was gay or not (and his support for me either way). I guess that was the straw that broke the straight and narrow's back, so to speak. I delved deeper into my feelings on the subject and found, just like my dressing, that it is a part of me and I am no longer ashamed of it.
Two: I am going to transition to becoming a women. I am the happiest, most relaxed and most self-confident I have ever been in my life lately and I can directly attribute this to my growing freedom at expressing myself as Dana. There are certainly daunting financial and emotional (and of course physical) obstacles to overcome, but I am fully confident that those things will work themselves out as long as my confidence, desire and dedication remain strong. I don't have a full-blown plan as to how to go about this transition yet, but I will now embark on it with joy and wonderment at how amazing life can be (and hopefully your emotional support).
Three: I have started taking female hormones. I have actually been on them for more than 2 months now (and boy are my nipples sore, heehee). Now some purist t-girls out there may chastise me for going down this road without medical consultation, but just know it was something I felt I had to do (and that was financially expedient). I do plan to seek out a gender specialist in the area and go from there though.
Whew!!! That's a load off my budding breasts, let me tell you! For those of my gentle readers that know me, feel free to ask me anything anytime. I welcome your perspectives and thank you for your continuing support...
May there be eternal peace in all your households,
Dana
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