"Straight" guys who are attracted to t-girls - are they really straight?

I seem to be a beacon for guys and other t-girls, many nice, some not so much, who claim they are straight but who also pine after me and other t-girls - they know that I am, crudely speaking, a "chic with a dick," but still they pursue me. There seems to me to be a large discrepancy in those stances. I mean, I am of course flattered and I would never deny or denigrate anyone the right to pursue whatever interests attract them, but I think at least some of these people are confused. I don't mean that in any negative way - I'm still massively confused about my sexuality as well - I'm bi and so embrace both hetero and homo relationships. But for myself, I found it amzingly freeing to finally let go of the confining definitions of normal sexuality and embrace the fact that I like both men and women (which I prefer to phrase "I look at the person and not the gender"). I let go of the fear of what others might think of me if they knew I was not a "normal" heterosexual. For the most part anyways - I still have to confront my parents on this issue, but that is coming very soon...

So that got me thinking about why I was unable to face that part of myself when I came to accept my crossdressing originally? Was it too much at once - my gender identity and my sexual identity? Too much for me, too much to put on my parents? Or was it simply the overwhelming feelings of shame and self-hatred that were generated within me due to lifelong, anti-gay (or to put it another way, pro-conformist) social conditioning and peer pressure? I was raised Catholic afterall (until I rebelled and stopped believing in all that pompous ritual at a very early age!) My guess is that for most of us it is a mixture of these influences. Unfortunately, we were all raised and continue to live in a world too often dominated by deep-seated homophobia and the sometimes violently defensive and or uncomfortable reactions of people and groups when these issues are brought into contact with their lives. When I told my family and friends about my dressing and even about my tentative thoughts about transitioning (in other words getting my penis cut off!), I still couldn't admit to myself or them that I was not heterosexual. I think fear drove me to cling to the idea that I was still hetero, dammit!, no matter how strongly the reality of my true desires was pressing in on me from all sides otherwise.

I guess my bottom line is that, as I'm sure I have stated elsewhere, why be ashamed of your sexuality just because there happen to bigoted, small-minded people around you? Is fooling yourself and those around you into thinking you're straight while at the same time agonizing over continuing non-hetero desires making you any happier than if you faced and examined these issues with an open mind?

Now I'm not saying this stuff necessarily applies to all t-girl admirers and others out there - these statements are just my own opinions based on my own experiences, so please don't flame me because you think I'm somehow questioning your manhood or something, ok? But if you have something thoughtful to contribute to this discussion or any other on here, please do speak up! These kinds of issues just fascinate me (and seem relevant to where I am in my life) and so I hope they do not offend you (if they do just stop reading this blog and stop trying to pick me up on Yahoo IM... :-)
Hugs,

Dana