bang the gavel

For those of you out in the nether lands of the digital world that might be thinking of judging me (negatively or positively) for posing for a pornographic web site layout, let me put your mind at ease...

1. I wanted to do it for various, and I would assume typical in this situation, reasons. Not least among them being the wad of cash being thrown my way to do it.
2. Hey - I missed the first 30 years of being a girl and most of the rites of female passage and so while my relative youth and decent looks still allows, I decided to revel briefly in my femininity.
3. I was also interested in the adventure of it; 0f testing my sexual limitations and exploring a realm for which I only have a very, very distant and thin, theoretical understanding. Although to be honest, the porn adventure, while certainly for the most part fun and exciting, didn't really give me much insight into the "industry" and thats fine with me.
4. Jon, the photographer and site owner, is an awesome person and a total professional and made me feel totally at ease prior to and while doing the shoot. Plus I got to tour a bit of Boston and check out legendary clubs Jacques and Manray.
5. I'm still trying to figure out my sexuality (just a friendly reminder - gender and sexuality are completely separate issues) and so exposing myself and using a large dildo on myself on camera (that happened to have a heavy real doll attached to it..lol) was not a big deal. My face is already plastered all over the net, so a couple more, just more revealing, images, doesn't make a difference to me.
6. As you might have surmised from the general tone of my blog, I am anti-authoritarian. My natural instinct; my default reflex, is to give the bird to any moral convention or social mores that I can (and that I myself am comfortable dissing), primarily just so I can stick it to those that wish to impose their close-minded belief systems on the rest of us.
7. This is reaching, I know: diversity and freedom of expression are the core values of any open and free society...

Hmmm...reading back what I just wrote I highly doubt I have assuaged the curiosity, indignation and or consternation of some of my gentle readers regarding pornography, eroticism and my tiny imprint on its vast, mostly underground existence. To be honest, I'm sort of ambivalent about the whole thing; neither elated nor ashamed of the final product. It was a chance at a new experience; a new sensation. And I took it and do not regret it at all.