Stealth Fighter

For some reason I've put off writing in detail about the surgery and my time in Montreal. I can't really pinpoint why this is. My guess at the moment is that perhaps there is a part of me that would rather keep that time blurry and let it fade into the mists of forgetful time. It certainly wasn't a pleasant time physical-wise, but that can't just be it because the process outcome - the pièce de résistance of my physical transformation was and is wonderful and necessary.

Perhaps there is a part of me that craves the comfort of stealth; of not having to acknowledge my pre-transition past; of not having to deal with the possibility of being seen as a freak. But my logical mind resists that temptation. A big part of the reason I was able to get to where I am now (and ultra-happy about it) is that I realized the burden of carrying such a big secret was destroying me. I don't think there is anyway I could live that kind of life ever again; one ruled by fear of being found out. And while I certainly won't wear a sign around my neck saying "Look at me folks, I'm a post-op transsexual!", I also will not shy away from that part of me, take undue measures to hide it, or be unwilling to discuss it just because someone may be uncomfortable with the issue. I'm proud of who I am. Being transsexual is only a minor facet of me, but it's a part I'm proud of.

I refuse to live in the shadows and so I remain your faithful stealth fighter.