funny walk in front of the sanity vanity

monty moment
The missmanagement of Danamage, Inc. wish to apologize for the aforesaid words. Our editor was otherwise occupied, wink-wink, and steadfastly stuck to a self-imposed strict headline-deadline, so said possible "incitement to riot" rant resulted...A statement has been released to the media stating succinctly that said rant in no way reflects the opinions of the spineless, ethic-challenged officers of Danamage, Inc. No really! We mean it. Just because we're heartless corporate managers armed to the teeth with multi-million dollar homes, good 'ol boy ivy league legal educations and bottles of expensive single malt scotch hidden in our otherwise empty desks doesn't mean we don't care...

vanity check-in
i think I figured something out just now shooting pool - in trying to understand my sexuality I was foolishly trying to fit my rotund self into a square social peghole. "Do I like women? Do I like men?" I had been wracking my brain and succumbing to shallow outside pressures attempting to define myself using a limited vocabulary (as all vocabularies that are defined are). 'Gender is totally separate from sex, remember dummy?' I said to myself when that dim bulb sparked in my brainpan as I banked the six ball in the left side pocket. I know it's impossible to remove gender considerations entirely from the equation, believe me - it's like trying to imagine a society without money - idyllic perhaps, but unknowable!.

So I think closer to the smaller things that matter to me; the way someone's electrons dance around their proton-soul and my impression of the inner-balance of aggression/ambition/directed energy against patience/empathy/conservation of energy. One or the other one way or the other doesn't matter but together I weigh, I choose.

I find myself drawn, conceding that we are sometimes forced to use incomplete definitions, more towards a feminine mate. Biological gender aside - I want someone who I instinctually sense as a woman by current collective american ideals, but with some buried tint of machismo in there. Male or female parts don't matter, but I suppose a more masculine girl or a more feminine man might be a base to build on. Or is this simply a reflection of who I want to be and not necessarily who I want to be with?

hahahahahahaha! I'm no closer to my prey than before...