Docs, probes, 'rents: more steps toward balance

I told my parents almost everything last night (on my birthday!). About my transsexualism and about my bi-sexuality. They were definitely taken aback by it, but in the end after a bit of serious conversation and sharing of emotions, I think they came around to pledging support for me - they are so awesome and caring. Along the way they explained how hard it is for them to imagine (or deal with mentally) the idea of me being anything but their son.

They also told me of the guilt they still feel (not necessarily for my transsexualism but for the fact that they didn't recognize it a lot sooner and so might have helped me deal with it sooner). I guess I never realized how much guilt they were feeling about this. I had stressed to them that none of it was their fault previously, but I guess they had been faulting themselves for not knowing what was going through my mind all those years. I explained to them that we tgs are experts at hiding things, and that since I couldn't face it myself until recently there was really no way for them to know about it. Hopefully they understood and will not continue torturing themselves about what might have or might not have been...

I also invited them to my drag competition performance (my first ever!) this Friday at Club 22. They were a bit hesitant at first, but I think they may actually come. They've never seen me dressed in person by the way. I did show them some fuzzy print outs of some of my early (and ugly!) pics when I first revealed my dressing to them over a year ago. I think I can reasonably say that I've changed a bit since then. This friday should be a very interesting night, especially since my outfit for my lip-sync song is quite risque...

In other news, I have also started therapy and have talked to my primary physician about my transition plans and about already being on hormones and I have started the process of getting a referral to an endo to go on meds legally. I got my first prostate exam (again - on my birthday!!!) as well - if you've never experienced it it's a very fun experience...NOT!

Wish me luck this friday (I'll need it)!!!

Dana