Monday, May 23, 2005

vita solitudonus

It's sort of funny (she says with a dark laugh and a touch of sarcasm). In most respects I am happier and more confident and in touch with my feelings than ever before. In addition, I have a whole set of wonderful new friends and acquantances, in addition to my pre-existing small group of close friends, and yet at times (like now!!!) I feel consumed by total loneliness.
Perhaps it's because I'm closer to being self-expressed in both gender and sexuality. And the fact that I haven't met anyone to intimately share those parts of myself with is very, very frustrating. This is compounded by the fact that 98% of those who pursue the new me are shallow, two-faced idiots, self-centered fakes, or at the very least, too distantly located to consider pursuing seriously (I demand constant attention...heehee!). That isn't to say these suitors are all bad - I have chatted with and even met some extremely cool people in the last year and a half. Unfortunately, nothing to write home about just yet...

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